How to Support Students with Anxiety: A Practical Guide for Parents

Anxiety. It’s a word that feels heavy—especially when it’s affecting your child. As a teacher with 20 years of experience, I’ve seen how anxiety can grip students, making tests feel like mountains and classrooms feel like battlefields. It’s hard to watch, and as a parent, it’s even harder to know how to help.

But here’s the good news: anxiety doesn’t have to define your child. It’s real, yes. It’s tough, yes. But with the right strategies, it can be managed, and your child can thrive. Let’s talk about how you can make that happen.

1. Acknowledge Their Feelings—but Don’t Let Anxiety Take Over

First and foremost, let your child know you see them. A simple, “I know this feels hard right now, and that’s okay,” can go a long way. But don’t stop there. While it’s important to validate their experience, it’s equally important to remind them that anxiety is just one part of their story.

Instead of saying, “It’s okay, you don’t have to do it,” try, “Let’s figure out how we can face this together.” You’re teaching them that while their feelings are real, they don’t have to control their actions.

2. Create a Safe Zone at Home

Home should be their refuge—a place where it’s okay to stumble, learn, and try again. Normalize mistakes by sharing your own. Talk about that time you messed up at work or forgot something important and how you bounced back. When kids see that failure isn’t final, it helps them approach challenges with less fear.

3. Build Resilience Through Small Steps

I’ve seen resilience transform students. It’s not something we’re born with—it’s something we build, one small step at a time. If a task feels overwhelming, break it down. For example, if speaking in front of the class is terrifying, start with practicing in front of you or a sibling. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small.

These small wins add up. They show your child that they can do hard things.

4. Help Them Prepare (and Then Prepare Some More)

One of the biggest causes of anxiety? Feeling unprepared. The more comfortable your child is with the material, the less intimidating it will feel. I always tell my students, “When you think you’ve studied enough, study a little more.”

Repetition builds confidence. The more they see the same problem, concept, or scenario, the less scary it becomes. Familiarity is one of the most powerful antidotes to anxiety.

5. Teach Them to Lean into Discomfort

This one’s tough—for them and for you. No one likes to see their child struggle. But discomfort is where growth happens. Encourage them to sit with their challenges, even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time.

If they’re stuck on a math problem, don’t solve it for them. Sit with them, guide them, but let them wrestle with it. They’ll learn that discomfort doesn’t mean they’re failing—it means they’re learning.

6. Equip Them with Tools to Manage Anxiety

Sometimes, anxiety needs a moment-to-moment fix. Teach your child simple strategies like deep breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4), journaling their thoughts, or using visualization techniques.

One student I worked with loved imagining her “bravery backpack.” Before a test, she’d mentally pack it with everything she needed—courage, confidence, and a little humor—and carry it with her into the exam room. Find what works for your child and make it their own.

7. Avoid Over-Accommodation

This one’s tricky. As parents, we want to protect our kids from pain. But constantly removing stressors can send the message that they’re not capable of handling challenges. Instead of letting them skip a tough situation entirely, help them take small, manageable steps toward facing it.

It’s okay to say, “I know this is hard, but I believe you can do it—and I’m here to help.”

8. Work with Teachers and Counselors

You don’t have to do this alone. Your child’s teachers and school counselors are there to help. Communicate with them about what you’re seeing at home and ask for their insights from the classroom. Together, you can create a plan to support your child both academically and emotionally.

9. Be the Model of Resilience

Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. Show them how you handle stress in your own life. Talk about challenges you’ve faced and how you worked through them. Let them see that resilience isn’t about never struggling—it’s about not giving up.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a child with anxiety is a journey, but it’s one you don’t have to walk alone. By creating a safe space, teaching resilience, and equipping your child with the right tools, you’re giving them the skills to face challenges head-on—not just in school, but in life.

Every time you encourage them to take a small step forward, you’re helping them build strength and confidence. Anxiety might be part of their story, but it doesn’t have to be the whole story.

You’ve got this—and so do they.